Tag Archives: Pesky Kritters

Gobble

On my way home this morning, I had to stop for about ten turkeys pecking their way, slowly, across the road. I can neither confirm nor deny the brief urge to give them a twenty gauge pep-talk and toss the stragglers in the trunk for my supper.

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Two Birds, One Stone

Yesterday, I was following a car around a corner on the highway on my way home from the ambulance. He disappeared on the other side of the bend, and as I rounded myself, all hell broke loose.

The air was filled with a fluttering grey and brown matter, a large meaty thing flew to the shoulder of the road, another meaty thing popped out from under the car as it slammed brakes. The travel lane and shoulder were blocked by meaty carnage. I arched around and was beginning to pull in when I noticed a few things.

  1. The grey and brown stuff was feathers
  2. The meaty things were not one, but two turkeys
  3. The front end of the car was a mess: trashed light housing, cracked bumper, big hole in the grill
  4. The driver was doing what could be best described as an angry rabid ape rage-dance

He was fine, the turkeys weren’t, and I laughed at the most expensive thanksgiving dinner the poor bastard is ever going to have.

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Filed under Fun With Animals