Tag Archives: Green Bunk

Never Mind That Man Behind The Curtain.

“They fear toxins from the rubber in the old tires will pollute the atmosphere and could cause health problems.”

If only there were an easy to access FAQ on the subject of tire furnaces. Not good enough? Well, since the types protesting tire furnaces tend to want a lessened dependence on oil, cleaner landfills, and fewer petrochemicals in dumps, this may interest them:

“Maine has over 60 million tires stockpiled at landfills and other sites. The combustor could turn those into heat energy with the equivalent of 180 million gallons of oil, the Governor said.”

Protest: Why use common sense or actually make progress when standing in the way can make you look cool?

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Filed under The Red Horde

10/10/10

Evedently, some well-intentioned people have decided to gather all over in groups and take on projects to help Mother Gaia. Good, great, people should be nicer to the planet. There are, however, a few fatal flaws that have led me to stage a little counter-demonstration:

  1. If they care so much, why aren’t they already doing this? I’m going to ride my bike more to help the planet, later, on one day.
  2. They are going to use the event to put political pressure on governments to regulate more environmental issues. Hmmm, you are organizing to get Big Brother to notice, so that he will make everyone do what you want. Bite me.
  3. I want to do more sustainable things, bike more, go solar, burn wood for heat instead of propane, so-on. Part of it is to help the planet, but part is to save money, and have fun. The day someone orders me to do it, I’m burning some tires, and importing baby seals so I can club them.

Because these fascistic tree-hugging bastards want to regulate my life, I am making my own 10:10 pledge:

  • I will cut down a tree with a gas-powered chainsaw, buck it with said saw, use a DR Powerwagon to drive it a few yards to a gas-powered hydraulic wood splitter, and split it. It will then be burned and used to cook an un-sustainable, factory-farmed animal for my supper.
  • I will launch fireworks into the atmosphere spreading carbon, plastic, industrial chemicals, and sulfur through the air. Much giggling like the proverbial tickled hermit will ensue.
  • I will drive everywhere I go, even to get the mail at the bottom of my hill.
  • I will clean my bicycle, with aerosolized petrochemicals.
  • I will open my windows, turn on all of my lights, and run my air-conditioner for one hour.
  • I will post pictures of the above on this site to leave no doubt in your minds that I was not kidding.

Note to the 10:10 activists: Leave me the fuck alone.

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Filed under Hippies Smell

Maybe There Is Something To This Whole Green Thing After All

Shamelessly stolen from: Attack Cartoons

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Filed under Humor