Dear Walther,

The PPS M2 looks cool. Which is saying something when you have been releasing the ugliest of ducklings for years. But we need to talk.

Americans are fun-hating Puritanical wankers who refuse to let the world have nice things. Putting a button release on your new pistol in place of the cool and functional paddle just to appease them is wrong. Don’t encourage them to continue insisting the universe be a whitebread slice of soul-sucking genericism. Don’t give them what they want, give them the paddle they deserve.


Yours truly even though you don’t really care,



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